You can’t say that…you’re a priest!

I often hear this phrase from people…”you can’t say/do/think/feel that way, you’re a priest!” As often as I hear it, I am just as often finding myself in that same situation of thinking I can or cannot do something because of these very same reasons. How can I suffer from anxiety? How can I enjoy comics and super heroes? How can I enjoy sex or a beer from time to time and claim to be a priest?

The answer is quite simple. I can. Being a priest, especially within the Buddhist tradition, is not about being less human, but more fully human and aware in each moment. It does not mean that once vows and robes are taken, we all of the sudden lose our touch with reality; if anything, it means we are more in touch with those things that make us human.

In all of my lessons and struggles and sufferings, I am all too aware that I am fallible and subject to the same drives and emotions that make us all human…hunger, anger, sex, laughter, sadness etc. What we strive for in Buddhism is not the elimination of humanity, but a true understanding and awareness of it in the moment it is happening.

In the beginning, most converts to any religion, become quite zealous. They want to tell the world what they have found, how it has impacted them, how others should try it…even new found atheists feel this way. This great freedom from dogma and superstition is liberating. Eventually it dies down and we are left with what we started with…a human ego striving for attention and justification.  Once we are again forced to see this aspect of our personalities, the real work begins.

In the beginning, we are busy feeding our ego by feeling like certain actions make us more pious, more holy, more connected to our traditions and convictions…if I give away all of my belongings, if I become a vegatarian, if I stop listening to metal or watching cartoons…but what we are really doing, is feeding the egos idea of what holy and pious really is.

Now, it’s all crashing down and our humanity and its quirks and faults are surfacing. I got angry and cursed at someone, I watched a movie with violence in it, I bought some comic books….but wait..I can’t..I have to be holy…or at least act it…in order to feed that self righteous need for justification.

Only now, in this moment of not newness…are we ready to learn and really change.  Only now do we have the capacity to understand what it really means to live the Buddha‘s teachings and a close look at his words and not our ego’s notions of them, is quite different. It’s not about being removed from people and society (he traveled and taught and interected with society as a whole for over 40 years).  It isn’t about never having sex and living in a cave and wearing robes, (he preached right sexuality not no sexuality).

So what is it that we can and should expect from our teachers and “gurus”? Well, honestly, nothing. They aren’t here to save you…only you can do that. They aren’t here to walk the path for you…again, only you can do that. They aren’t hear to walk on water or levitate…cheap parlor tricks and nothing at all to do with the Buddha’s teachings. They are hear to be a friend. A guide. A person to say…hey…now that you’re ready…let’s have a beer and get down to business, because it’s about damn time!

What it all boils down to…

There are no shortage of wordy philosophies from religion to religion and many times, we seek the teacher with the most elaborate replies, the longest texts, the most eloquent and mellifluous speeches. Yet, the Buddha himself said, “I teach suffering and the end of suffering.” it seems pretty simple to me.

So often we get lost in schools, ranks, titles, the color of robes and the birth place of the teachers. We identify and cling to that identity. I am a Tibetan Buddhist, I am a Zen Buddhist, I am Chan, I am this and that and the other…yet the Buddha would say..”what is Buddhism?”

Our clinging to schools, ideologies and masters is part of the issue the Buddha said we need to correct. As a social reformer, he spoke out against the current religious traditions of his day and said, leave it all behind. Truth is simple, dogma free and boils down to this; there is suffering and there is a way to free yourself from it.

This isn’t to say that our traditions and schools have no value or merit; in fact, if it were not for them, the Buddha’s teachings would probably have gone the way of the Greek Philosophers…a side note of a by-gone era. They hold value in that they bring us together to study the teachings of one of histories most important teachers. They offer us ritual and beauty that is soothing and uplifting but when we get stuck within the ritual and beauty, we are at odds with the core of the Buddha’s teachings.

Remember that truth should never be complicated. The more justification and argument we need, the greater likelihood that our bedrock is faulty. The simple truths are the eternal truths because as all things rise and fall, compassion and honesty remain the same.

As we move forward in our practice, regardless of whether or not it is Zen or Tibetan, Mahayana or Theravada the core should be the same; “I teach suffering and the end of suffering.” It boils down to the Four Noble Truths and the Eight Fold Path. It rises and sets with that core. Our facades and pageantry are simply that. They are for us to enjoy…but enjoy without clinging.

The Buddha said, “be a light unto yourself..” In this statement, we can  see a lack of self-serving and pride. It was simple truth that won the day. It was not dogmatic rigidness but humility and compassion. To paraphrase Buddha, he really said, “take it or leave it…but be honest with yourself.”

Being that light unto ourselves has given us the creativity and wonder to create such beautiful traditions that surround our core. Being honest with ourselves means we need to understand how to let it all go and simply be where we are now.

The meaning of emptiness and its fulfillment in sickness

For many new Buddhists and non Buddhists, the term of emptiness is a road block. Sadly, this incredible philosophy of unity has been distorted and many think it means that nothing and no experience is real, meaningful or beneficial.

The truth of emptiness, as taught by the Buddha, is not that there is no intrinsic reality to our relationships and experience but instead that there is no separate reality. Emptiness is the teaching of egolessness. It is in understanding the unity of all things. Emptiness is the realization that nothing has its own intrinsic separation from other things.

Emptiness goes hand in hand with dependent arising. We cannot fully understand the abandonment of ego until we fully understand the unity of experience and reality. Everything from the stars to a child’s set of Lego‘s, when it boils down to it, on a subatomic level are all made up of the same thing.

When you walk into the yard, the grass you walk on, the air you breath, the trees you take shade under or play in, are all of the same quality. It is personal perception that gives them meaning. To you and I, a tree is paper, furniture, shade, an object of beauty…to an ant, it is a giant universe. These perceptual differences are the true essence of emptiness. It is our distinct naming that is empty because perceptual reality is personal. Therefore it has no true solidity and is therefore empty.

When we understand the meaning of emptiness, we understand that nothing is truly separate. This understanding is fundamental to Buddhist compassion. The moment we see things, list things as separate from us, we create division. We create strife, competition and a clinging to personal ego.

I had a hard time truly understanding my emptiness and hence unity with all things, until I was sick. When you are sick, things tend to slow down. Our perceptions become more fluid and less rigid, hence the Tibetan saying that sickness can be the greatest teacher. My sickness brought forth the fruition of understanding emptiness.

Emptiness brought forth my understanding of the universal truth of suffering and this truth brought forth my practice in mindful compassion. So the next time you are sick, fearful, angry or just bored…try and meditate on this idea. Emptiness for the Buddhist, is the beginning of true compassion and unity. Understanding true emptiness means truly being unified with all life.

Depression and Dependent Arising…

The world today, with its amazing instant access to people anywhere and at any time, is suffering from loneliness, depression and a sense of isolation unlike at any time in the past. Human communication has been replaced with smart phones and video games. We text instead of connecting with another human voice and even when we call a hospital, we are greeted by an automated answering service instead of an actual human being.

Before I was diagnosed with heart failure, like many American‘s, I was impressed by the idea of MY rights and MY freedoms and MY this and MY that. Our culture is consumed with the idea of personal liberties and we have forgotten the very real fact that no man is an island. No single right or liberty or freedom when acted out by us as individuals, stops with us. Every action, idea, word or lack thereof has a reaction, a counter force, a positive or negative effect on the rest of life.

After my diagnosis, I was overcome with a real sense of fear and isolation. I could lay in the hospital bed texting or posting on Facebook, yet there I sat, alone, isolated, un-comforted by an actual human presence or touch.

As I made my move back home and took stock of my  life, my actions, my words and again, the lack of all of these things, I realized that in my all-consuming quest for freedom and personal liberty, I was completely alone.

As I struggled to find myself, to rectify my idiocies and atrocities, I also began to realize how immanent death could be and this became a real fear for me. In my struggle with fear and sadness, I remembered the teachings on dependent arising and this profoundly changed my feelings on death and my desire for rights and over consuming individuality.

Dependent arising is the simple truth that all things depend on all other things not only for sustained life but to simply have come into existence. As human beings, we are made up entirely of non human parts. Water, dirt, minerals, air and blood and no single component of our make-up can be classified as solely human or independent of each other thing; because as each component is broken down, it also is made up of similar parts, as is all life.

Unfortunately, new age ideology has made the term, “we are all one”, a kind of cliché’ hippie love in poster phrase. The reality of this though, should be obvious to anyone paying attention. Everything in the universe is made up of everything else. There is no true separation and there is no true death of any component within us. As our body transitions into death, it simply becomes the pieces of new life.

Like our physical make-up, our karma, or our action, is also passed on into new life. Every word and action we take can have an influence, sometimes profound, on other life. Words spoken in hate or haste; actions done or not done, time spent well or wasted…all of these things are passed on even when we as who we are right now, are no more.

The child I love today and tomorrow, when I pass, will live with that influence, with that karma that I have left for her. The same applies to friends, family and any relationship we have, human or non. Our influence on the earth and its varied species will live on after we do; hence the importance of a diligent practice of mindfulness. As we continuously search for the happiness that we think we will reach in the future, we lose the only chance we have for happiness in the here and now.

It was this seeking that brought me into my head on collision with depression and anxiety and it was this collision that also brought the suffering i saw around me, in the world at large, into a glaring light that felt blinding. During this period, the Buddha‘s words, “I teach suffering and the freedom from suffering” came screaming into the foreground and I struggled with not only my own suffering and fear of death but that same fear and suffering all around me.

Mindfulness may seem like such a small thing. “Who cares how I peel my orange?” or how “I walk down the sidewalk?” but it is these small steps of being mindful that change our big picture. Those few seconds of brightened and heightened awareness and presence can be the few seconds we needed to actually hear our children ask to be held, or realize how good it feels to hear our loved ones tell us that they love us.

The next time you feel lonely, take a few minutes to think about the process of dependent arising. This alone won’t change your loneliness if you don’t actively seek healthy friendships, but it will change how you engage in your relationships and daily actions. It may not entirely remove you fear of death and dying but time spent reflecting on this will certainly influence your perspective on what death really means.

As always…it starts with the breath…a seemingly unnoticed aspect of our life…a non human component that gives us life. Take just a moment and be mindful of your breath as it flows in and pours out. Appreciate each chance you have to breath because no breath tomorrow or next week will matter if you cannot be fully aware of the ones you have right now!

 

 

The Importance of Tonglen

Tonglen is the practice of taking and giving. In this context, it is seen in the eyes of Bodhisattva practice…taking in the  suffering of the hurt innocent and giving back healing and peace. It is a practice in empathy and in building compassion for all beings. It is done as a formal meditation but can also be done in passing thought.

The practice of tonglen starts just like breath meditation. I breath in your suffering and I breath out your healing. The idea of tonglen is to truly develop empathy and loving kindness by being willing to take on the suffering of others and in exchange offer them back your good health, love and compassion.

It’s debatable as to whether or not this practice actually has any efficacy as to a real transfer of healing energy but what is more important is the intent behind the practice. Like any Buddhist activity, the idea is to build up your compassion for all life; human, non human, plant etc. The practice of tonglen, removes us from our constant state of self centered focus and brings us face to face with the reality of universal suffering.

As a person who has been inside the back of an ambulance more than once, I find it very easy to connect to my tonglen practice when I see an ambulance on its way, patient in tow. I can easily bring up the feelings of anxiety and pain that I had and empathize with the person inside. Because of this, my compassion for that person grows and I breath in their fear, pain and suffering and offer my good health, compassion and love in return.

From a rational scientific standpoint, there is no proof that this benefits the person in pain. What is affected however, is our psyche. Our state of awareness to other beings. As our compassion grows and our willingness to help even at the cost of our own safety, that impact spreads because our attitudes and behavior start to change.

The general state of apathy and me first can only change, when we are in fact the change we wish to see…if I may paraphrase Gandhi. This is a simple practice but a very powerful one. Especially for those who find it hard to connect to other people. It helps us to stay in the present and being in the present is what mindfulness is all about!

Tonglen can start small. Don’t feel the need to try and empathize with the person that openly wronged you as your first practice. Start with a friend or a loved one who has a cold or even just stubbed their toe on the coffee table. As your practice builds, so does your compassion and you will eventually realize, that even though it hurts, your enemy can be your greatest teacher; because only when we are able to offer compassion when it is hard, have we truly learned its meaning!

Testing, testing, 1,2,3…

I have heard from many folks, that the process of just observing the breath is too complicated for them. They can’t find a balance between observing and focusing on just breathing..and this is okay. We are all different and there are different methods of applying mindfulness in our daily practice.

Something that I have used for several years, is the counting method. As you sit into your meditation…relax for a moment. Take a few deep breaths, let them out. Become aware of your breathing just like we talked about before. I am breathing in and I am breathing out. Feel the rise and fall of your belly (if you are breathing in your chest, you’re not really breathing).

Once your body has settled down and you are comfortable, start counting with your inhalation and exhalation. As you breath in count 1. As you breath out, count 1 again. Try to take the count up to 10, each number being said twice; once on the inhalation and once on the exhalation. When you reach ten, count backwards, in 9 and out 9 (saying only the number for as long as the breath lasts).

You may notice that you quickly lose count as your mind wanders off. This is okay, it’s just like losing your awareness of your breathing. Start back at 1 and try again, without judgement or frustration. If you think that 10 is too high to start with, try making it to 5 and back down. Eventually this rhythmic breathing and counting will start to calm the body and the mind.

Once you are at a place where you can comfortably count to 10 and back, without losing focus, add 10 more numbers…move to 20. This practice will allow you to relax your mind into single focused concentration for longer and longer periods of time. Eventually you will make it to 100 and back without losing focus. Your body and mind will be quiet and relaxed and you will find that the process of just observing is becoming more and more natural.

This process of counting has you focused on something but not so strongly that thoughts don’t creep in. As you see the thoughts but maintain count, you will realize you are watching without becoming attached to the thought. This is the process of meditative observance.

These simple techniques are lifelong practices that even experienced mediators will use. It’s like the story of how a a student wearing a white belt, applying diligence and hard work, noticed one day his belt was black. Having a black belt doesn’t make you a master, it makes you ready to finally start learning. Now, with time and fading, the black belt becomes white again and the master is ready.

How to know when it’s real….

So often you come across ‘great’ meditation master’s programs on TV or in the Oprah Book of the Month Club; offering the Buddha‘s teaching‘s for the low low price of only $19.99 plus S&H. You hear of great master’s setting up shop all over the world collecting great followings of people willing to do and say almost anything as if this person were the Buddha himself. It’s funny how the Buddha said that even he was irrelevant and all that mattered were his teachings…yet?

He appointed no successor and as he passed, he told Ananda “It may be, Ananda, that some of you will say, ‘without the Buddha,  there is no teacher for us’. No, Ananda, you should not think in this way. Whatever doctrine and discipline taught and made known by me will be your teacher when I am gone.“. He didn’t say go listen to so and so or appoint this person or that person as the new authority. The authority was the dharma. It and it alone was the highest teaching and nothing needed to be added or changed.

There were no ideas of lifetimes and lifetimes of struggle in order to become awake. If you look at the oldest of the Pali cannon, it appears that many people became awake around the Buddha. The Buddha gave the path..the Four Noble Truths and the Eight Fold Path. This is the method, this is the key!

Now, we see great centers of selling instead of learning. We see devotion to the whims of the guru (which is actually a Hindu Brahmanic idea, not Buddhist) and a great rash of added teachings, laws, orders and beliefs that do not stem from the Buddha’s lips, but by Cult(ural) beliefs instead.

That being said, there is a necessity for dharma friends and teachers. The Buddha gave the method and teachings, but it is helpful to have teachings from wise and compassionate teachers who have spent their lives living the words of the Buddha. These teachers are there to encourage you, not to serve themselves.

So know this…you will know a tree by its fruit my friends! A good tree gives good fruit, a bad tree gives rotten fruit! The dharma is not for sale! The dharma is to be given freely and out of love and compassion for every living being, never for self-aggrandizement or profit! The dharma is not for the teachers, the center nor those exclusive students  benefit.  Remember, the Buddha himself said that if even HIS OWN WORDS offended your conscience, then ignore them!

If anything asked of you goes against what the Buddha himself taught or did, it is not dharma! Dharma is to uplift, to free, to liberatee and to educatee. True dharma will never bring suffering or sorrow. Remember, the Buddha was the great liberator. His words and teachings say, “I teach suffering and the END OF SUFFERING!”

True dharma starts where you are! It means you have compassion on yourself and spread that outwards. If you cannot live the true dharma within your family, your relationships, your colleagues etc. you will not find it by abandoning them. The dharma is not out there somewhere…it is right where you are, here and now. Again, the Buddha said, “do not seek happiness without…” His was the middle way. Living with what you have, where you are, as long as it does not stray from the eight-fold path is perfectly fine. Have your belongings, just don’t belong to them.

So often, I see his words corrupted. Supposed great teachers and modern scholars justify things by using corrupted measures and means; especially when it comes to violence! I have heard all too often that Buddhism does not teach non violence; “because the Samurai were Buddhist.” I am sorry my friends, but no, they were not. True Buddhism insists upon non violence in not only physical means but even in your words and thoughts!

Emptiness is not withdraw from or the ignoring of something. Emptiness means non duality. No attachment to the idea of a separate self. True emptiness means ONLY that you are empty of a false ego. Empty from the idea that you are separate from your neighbor, or the fish in the river, the trees and wind; that you are empty of pride and delusion. True emptiness is living solely in a state of compassion for all beings and all life! In order to be truly empty, one must then be also truly non violent.

This non violence spreads to not simply actions of direct violence like war and abuse but in how we treat people on a day to day basis. Ahimsa is non violence in action, speech and thought. So causing suffering through control, neglect, abandonment of family and children, relationships, your work and your daily responsibilities, ignoring the suffering of the poor and animals are also forms of violence. If your actions cause the suffering of others, especially the innocent, the child, the weak, the sick, the poor, the voiceless animal, the pollution and destruction of earth…it is not dharma.

Dharma starts and ends in compassion. Compassion for yourself and compassion for others. However, compassion for your self does not mean at the expense of others. The true practitioner of the dharma will take on the suffering of others in order to heal them. They will conquer hate with love, war with peace, greed with generosity. If our actions lead to the suffering of others, especially our families, relationships, friends and those already suffering, then we are only adding to future violence and malcontent.

So often we take the meaning of renunciation to mean monastic life. Monastic life is fine for those who are not already married or with children and family. To abandon is an act of violence and is only for the satisfaction of the self. In reality, renunciation means simply non attachment to worldly praise or gain. The eight-fold path teaches right livelihood. The Buddha knew that we had to work and live and interact in society.

The Buddha’s stances on a monastic community that followed him probably stemmed from practicality more than belief. His community begged for food and lodging, so if they were sexually active and bringing more children into their community of beggars, it would create a greater burden on the society they lived in. This would be wrong action on their part. The Buddha knew this but he also knew that the vast majority of people and that the cycle of life requires sexual interaction and birth and death.

Take these things into account as you find teachings and teachers. Don’t stray blindly from the path set down by the Buddha. His teachings were clear and open. The four noble truths and the eight fold path. The truth of suffering and the end of suffering. How our actions effect others is the sign of whether or not we are living and following the true dharma.

Are we in pain? Are we causing pain? Are we offering compassion? Are we alleviating suffering? Right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness and right concentration. This path is for the cessation of suffering, both personal and social. We cannot be the cause of suffering and freedom at the same time.

So, to summarize, dharma is free and it is freedom. It is not selling and collecting. It is without false pride and false humility. It is given freely to all beings and is acted out in your everyday life. It is just as much in how you collect and drink the water from a stream as it is in how you help someone up from the ground. It is calm abiding and giving. It is compassion for all beings…it is the end of all suffering.

The Buddha’s Struggle With Anxiety?

To many, the header may seem confusing. “The Buddha and anxiety? I’ve never heard such a thing.” Haven’t you? Wasn’t  the Buddha’s initial quest to find freedom from suffering? What were his words on suffering? “It is not change that causes suffering but our clinging to the idea that things should remain static.” What is anxiety if not clinging? What is depression if not clinging?

So, for those of us who have struggled with anxiety or depression, the Buddha truly is the great physician. He was caught up in the suffering he saw and felt when he was disillusioned with the reality he thought he knew. When he was confronted with death (the ultimate anxiety) and the fact of impermanence.

Looking to Buddhism or if you are more comfortable, the words of the Buddha, as a healing balm for our situation is the beginning of wisdom. His teachings are the greatest psychology that not only point directly to the heart of our issue but also directly to the path out of it.

I’ve struggled with anxiety for the majority of my life. An anxiety that stemmed from a tumultuous childhood. As I grew up and became a father, it didn’t lessen but increased. When I was diagnosed with heart failure and was told I was dying, it became critical and crippling.

I found myself visiting the E.R. thinking I was dying on an almost bi weekly basis. I became essentially agoraphobic and a hypochondriac. On top of the very real issue of my heart, I had the very real issue of my panic disorder and the job of trying to raise a baby.

As I watched her grow, I also watched my anxiety levels increase and my depression take over. i saw only anger and suffering around me. I saw no hope for her future in this world and I saw no hope for myself. Oddly  enough, it was my clinging to the idea of suffering that brought me crashing into Buddhism, again.

Because I had no where else to go, no further bottom to reach (at least in my mind) I was forced to truly look at myself. Sadly, it is this last-ditch Kubler-Ross psychology that bring many of us to our ‘save me’ moments.

Thankfully, because I had an extensive background in eastern philosophy, this wasn’t a pie in the sky re conversion. It happened to be the first time I was truly able to understand the teachings of the Buddha and mindfulness practice.

It was the simple act of mindful breathing that started to bring me out of my panic and the continued effort to be mindful in all of my life’s moments that allowed me to be the father I needed to be, the friend I needed to be and eventually an ordained Buddhist priest, trying to offer these teachings to others who live with a similar experience.

I am not saying that all of my anxiety is gone, or that reading a book on Buddhism or taking vows will cure-all your suffering; it wont. What I can promise you though, is that nothing else will shed light on your situation quite like the Buddha’s teachings and that your diligent practice in mindfulness will make an incredible impact on your life!

We cannot control what happens in life but what we can control is how we react to it. So sit down, breath and begin. We’re on this journey together!

As I mentioned in my initial blog was to just begin with mindful breathing. Don’t worry, you don’t need to sit in meditation for hours on end in the mountains to reap the benefits of mindfulness. In fact, the Buddha’s Eight-fold Path doesn’t speak about living away from people at all. It is simply a prescription for mindful living in the here and now, where you are!

When you start to try and quiet the mind, it feels like it might be impossible. Your mind goes from watching your breathing, to the hot girl you saw last night, to what’s for lunch, to I gotta pee to ad infinitum etc. That’s okay. If you are able to notice how quickly your mind wanders, that’s good! If 20 minutes have gone by and you just realize you’ve been day dreaming…well, that’s okay too.

Don’t force it and don’t judge what  happens. It’s not a contest, it’s not to be forced or conquered. it’s about letting go. Try for just a minute..one minute…I am breathing in…I am breathing out. Allow the belly to expand and deflate. Just watch your breath. When you notice you have mentally wandered off, don’t get upset or angry. Just notice it and come back to your breathing.

Try this one minute process a few times a day. Eventually, that one minute will increase and you will be sitting for 5 minute stretches and breathing and quiet are all you experience. For now though…just breath…let me know how you do!

 

Beginners Mind…

As a behaviorist and especially as a priest, I get a chance to work with many people and speak to them directly about the process of being mindful. What many find helpful, is that my teachings come directly from the experience of knowing severe anxiety first hand and how mindfulness can affect positive  change in ones life.

Many teachers will tell you to take it straight to the meditation cushion; just like many other religious folks will say, take it straight to God or a Psychiatrist will say, take it straight to the pharmacy.  What I do know for sure, is there is no miracle cure, no cure all pill and no cure all practice. It is a necessity to find a balance and the best process of balance, is mindfulness.

Meditation is a process of intensive mindfulness and one that not everyone is ready to jump into head first; especially those who are not Buddhist or comfortable with Buddhist practices. However, that being said, anyone can and should practice being mindful. So what is mindfulness?

First and foremost, mindfulness is simply that. It is being mindful of what you are doing as you are doing it. It is the process of being present. It is being fully aware of the process of living. When you are eating, how often are you fully present in that moment of eating? We often sit in front of the TV, ignoring the family that sits around us, and fill up on mental garbage as we shovel in food that we are completely unaware of.

Being mindful is being fully aware of each bite. The process of how the food was made, where it came from. The scent and spray of an orange as we peel it and the people that sit and share with us as we consume.

The greatest start into mindfulness practice is simple. Be aware. When you are talking with someone…listen, be fully present. When you walk or drink a glass of water, read a book, write..any activity, mindfulness is simply being present in each activity in the moment as you are doing it.

Anxiety and depression take us away from the present moment. We are focused on what happened or what might happen and completely losing the present moment because we are unaware that it has passed or is passing  us by.

This isn’t to say that anxiety and depression aren’t real…they are very much real and are part of our mental chemical process; which becomes very physical if left unchecked. As a behaviorist, our anxiety and depression are very much conditioned habits based on positive or negative reinforcement.

We focus and associate and build negative associations that continue to expand and grow and consume us. We need to be ware of our habits, our patterns and to start to break them down by even being present with our emotional states (something I will discuss at length in future blogs).

For now, what is important, is just starting to be aware. Start simple…are you breathing? Yes you are. So, ‘I am breathing in…’ and ‘I am breathing out…’. This simple practice of mindful breathing is your homework assignment.  Stay focused on just being aware of breathing. Be present with it. Make friends with it. When you notice your mind wandering off…don’t judge it..don’t become angry or frustrated. Just bring it back peacefully to your breathing.

This is mindfulness.